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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.

Adam Carolla

When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
ADAM CAROLLA

Agent Back Country Feet Gonna Mountain Power Sterilizing
If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
ADAM CAROLLA

Business Dog Family Focus Fun Good Life
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
ADAM CAROLLA

Arrival Funny Humor Smell Trumpet
I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
ADAM CAROLLA

Definitely Drama Future Life Making Serious
Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
ADAM CAROLLA

Attracted Chick Doing Happen Love Dude Money Successful
You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
ADAM CAROLLA

Club Due Kil Funny Home Humor Sit Wait Yourself
Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
ADAM CAROLLA

Ashtray College High Junior School
Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
ADAM CAROLLA

Better Emotional Guy Mechanical Stuff Women
When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
ADAM CAROLLA

Basketball Brother Guy Odd Playing Team Yarmulke
If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
ADAM CAROLLA

Affiliation Everyone Glenn Beck Life Media Started Towards Worried
I get depressed at airports.
ADAM CAROLLA

Airport Depress Depressed Fear Height Scare Shy
I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
ADAM CAROLLA

Agnostic Atheist God Law Thinking
I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
ADAM CAROLLA

Favourite Form Freedom Mess Podcast Really
We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Always Country Going Gone See Want
If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
ADAM CAROLLA

Conservative Hollywood Need People Place
People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
ADAM CAROLLA

Excel Fail Failing Opportunity People

I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.

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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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