Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
ADAM CAROLLAHe doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
ADAM CAROLLA






