I’m a comedian, not a politician.
ADAM CAROLLAHe doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
ADAM CAROLLA