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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.

W. C. Fields

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself People Religious Sanity
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel

Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.

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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.

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