black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Evidence Success Yourself
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Home Start Time
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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