“I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?”

I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

You can’t cheat an honest man.

Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.

Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.

This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Don’t punish yourself by staying with people who hurt you. When they start destroying your peace instead of protecting it, it’s time to let go of them.

None can destroy iron, but its own rust can! Likewise none can destroy a person, but its own mindset can!

If we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them.

I am utterly convinced that Science and Peace will triumph over Ignorance and War, that nation will eventually unite not to destroy but to edify, and that the future will belong to those who have done the most for the sake of suffering humanity.

We have a choice to build or destroy, to fight or to come together.

You get broken you pick yourself back up, you get scarred you wear them beautifully, things that were meant to destroy you, you overcame them with such great might.

Secrets are power. What people don’t know they can’t destroy.

For it can never be that war shall preserve life, and peace destroy it.