“I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.”

I love kids, but they are a tough audience.

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

My favorite thing to do is ride a bicycle. I ride road bikes. And for me, it’s mobile meditation.

After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.

Sucking the marrow out of life doesn’t mean choking on the bone.

I wonder what chairs think about all day: “Oh, here comes another asshole

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Anything that is not funny at a certain point will be funny.

For a while you get mad, then you get over it.

I was an only child. I did have kind of like a lonely existence.

I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.

But if there’s love, dear – those are the ties that bind, and you’ll have a family in your heart, forever.

We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race.

Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.

As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them.

You need a touch of madness, just enough that you don’t become stupid!

Studies have shown kids have a greater chance for lifelong success if they know how to read by the third grade.

I lived where I could and studied what I enjoyed studying. I took what I wanted from that education but was making my first record at the same time.

Genius without education is like silver in the mine.

Genius without education is like silver in the mine.

Rape is one of the most terrible crimes on earth and it happens every few minutes. The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is teaching men not to rape.

Rape is one of the most terrible crimes on earth and it happens every few minutes. The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is teaching men not to rape.

Education is the means to help our children and thereby increase self-respect.

Education is the means to help our children and thereby increase self-respect.