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Poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
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If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
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I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.
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I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.
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Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’
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Anything that is not funny at a certain point will be funny.
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If you’re that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem.
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You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to.
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If heaven exists, to know that there’s laughs, that would be a great thing.
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But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be.
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Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.
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When in doubt, go for the dick joke.
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Change is not popular; we are creatures of habit as human beings. ‘I want it to be the way it was.’ But if you continue the way it was there will be no ‘is.’
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Death – to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.
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After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.
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There’s no shame in failing. The only shame is not giving things your best shot.
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A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.
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As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them.
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Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.
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Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.
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If we’re going to fight a disease, let’s fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.
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Make your life spectacular, I know I did.
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Comedy is acting out optimism.
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Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
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Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift.
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Don’t mess with me, man, I’m a lawyer!
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I like my wine like my women – ready to pass out.
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