It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
BOB SAGETThe selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
More Bob Saget Quotes
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If you’re a host of a video show and you’re on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, ‘Well, that’s what that person does.’ That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.
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What I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.
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I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
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A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
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I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
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Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
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Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
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You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
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A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
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I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
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I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
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Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
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My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
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Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
BOB SAGET