If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
BOB SAGETNo one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
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My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
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Bob Saget was known, in the comedy clubs in those days, as extremely funny but with dark humor. It was always an inside joke among comics, when he got Full House, it was, like, wow, hes playing this all-American dad kind of thing.
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Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
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25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
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Yet there are some people – Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he’s a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I’m doing it right now and you all seem bored.
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They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?
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If you’re a host of a video show and you’re on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, ‘Well, that’s what that person does.’ That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.
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My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
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The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
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I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
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You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
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When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
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In the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work.
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My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
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Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, ‘you don’t mention that part here.’ But that’s what’s interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
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It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
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Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
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My favorite Dylan song? I think it’s ‘Just Like a Woman.’ It always makes me cry.
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At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
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Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
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I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.
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If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?
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Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
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It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
BOB SAGET