Never trust people who’ve only got one book.
BILLY CONNOLLYNever trust people who’ve only got one book.
BILLY CONNOLLYAs soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
BILLY CONNOLLYThere’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
BILLY CONNOLLYThere’s a fine line you have to tread because you don’t know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
BILLY CONNOLLYI don’t aim to offend.
BILLY CONNOLLYWhen you involved in an accident and someone asks “are you alright?” Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.
BILLY CONNOLLYMarriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
BILLY CONNOLLYWithout arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
BILLY CONNOLLYWhen people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?
BILLY CONNOLLYPeople who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
BILLY CONNOLLYMy advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don’t eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
BILLY CONNOLLYI’d always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
BILLY CONNOLLYScottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it’s easy – you simply look under the kilt, and if it’s a quarter-pounder, you know it’s a McDonald’s.
BILLY CONNOLLYI just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
BILLY CONNOLLYPeople die all the time. It’s just that you’re not around.
BILLY CONNOLLYI can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
BILLY CONNOLLY