Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
BILL BAILEYThree women walk into a pub and say, ‘Hooray, we’ve colonised a male-dominated joke format’
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Contentment is knowing you’re right
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I’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.
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I’m English and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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Live comedy’s a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You’re only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
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In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you’re just doing the odd appearance, you don’t know if it will carry on.
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
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Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
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It’s the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.
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Three women walk into a pub and say, ‘Hooray, we’ve colonised a male-dominated joke format’
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Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
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