People die all the time. It’s just that you’re not around.
BILLY CONNOLLYNever run with scissors or other pointy objects.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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The more you know the less the better.
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I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.
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Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
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If you want to lose a bit of weight, don’t eat anything out of a bucket.
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I’m a huge film star… but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f–ing minutes. I’m the only guy I know who died in a f–ing Muppet movie.
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Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
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Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you’ve blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that… wrll, it’s because the national anthem is boring.
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People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
BILLY CONNOLLY






