What’s so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you’re constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.
BILLY CRYSTALA laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it’s really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it’s great.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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Good news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck’s puff pastries.
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I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
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The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
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Change is such hard work.
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It’s money. I remember it from when I was single
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I think when I feel I’m at my best is when I’m on stage, and it’s my version of jazz because it’s just riffing or something.
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I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.
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I had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
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Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
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That’s why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.
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Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
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If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
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Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
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I don’t like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
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Don’t give up your power.
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