“The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.”

There’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.

A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it’s really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it’s great.

Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don’t think you can make your kids’ dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.

That’s why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.

You give up your dream, you give up.

It’s money. I remember it from when I was single

I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.

I started examining history and then everything related to the theater. History, art, all the other studies, if I could link them into the theater, then it became alive for me. It just opened up my eyes.

Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.

[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.

At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.

My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I’ve already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.

Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.

I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.

Don’t give up your power.

Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.

I have learned that you’re not perfect, and that sometimes the one you love can burn you. But it’s just the fool that’s looking backwards: a bitter heart turns the love we made to ashes.

Death is not rare, alas! nor burials few, And soon the grassy coverlet of God Spreads equal green above their ashes pale.

My pen is alight and my body aflame. Until both burn down to ash, my love and my hate will remain here in the world.

I had learned one of the bitter lessons of life: never try to regain the past, the fire will have become ashes.

Leaders should lead as far as they can and then vanish. Their ashes should not choke the fire they have lit.

A bridge of silver wings stretches from the dead ashes of an unforgiving nightmare to the jeweled vision of a life started anew.

Adjusting to Beau being a caveman over a girl had been almost as hard as seeing him with Ash. Beau didn’t do jealous, not until Ashton had become his. Now he was a freaking lunatic.

Warriors have emerged from the ashes of trials and sacrifices.