“It’s an insane world, and I’m proud to be a part of it.”

What before seemed a…frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.

Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here’s my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride …

I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet. If you’re wondering what I believe our purpose on this planet is, I’ll give you a hint… it has to do with creating and sharing.

What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?

Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who’ve helped me.

I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me.

Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?

I don’t do drugs anymore… than, say, the average touring funk band.

Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes–are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!

Sixteen years I’ve pounded my head against the mentality of America, which…I’d say it’s about an 8th grade emotional level.

I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.

They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven’t proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven’t seen the stats on that yet.

I’m totally confused about what I’m going to do with my life.

I’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.

I don’t care if you’re obscene, filthy, horrendous — as long as you’re honest.

Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick–‘You hate this country’….I have to tell him…I just hate being lied to.

The measure of woman’s distaste for any part of her life lies not in the loudness of her lamentations (these are only an attempt to buy a martyr’s crown at a reduced price) but in her persistent pursuit of that occupation of which she never ceases to complain.

The teachers at my school were quite often card-carrying members of the Labour Party and it just was not part of the culture to approve of what the government was doing.

We have held that a death toll was a necessary part of every human achievement, whether sport, war or industry. A moment’s rage over the horror of it, and we have sunk into indifference.

Part of your mission in life then must be to share your gifts with as many people as possible. That means being willing to play big.

The reason why I wanted to direct is because there are personal stories that I want to tell, but also because I love every part of movie making – from the wardrobe to the set decoration to cinematography.

I didn’t become a Tory just to become part of a managerial group who wanted to run the country…

My mom would have different fragrances for different times of the year. They were a part of her identity.

The worst part of being gay in the twentieth century is all that damn disco music to which one has to listen.