Contentment is knowing you’re right
BILL BAILEYWhat I’d like to do now – well, what I’d like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people’s doors and running away. God that was a good game.
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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Relaxed Empiricism — I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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People say ‘Bill, are you an optimist?’ And I say, ‘I hope so.’
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
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My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn’t just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.
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I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
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But our country’s equivalent of gritty reality is more like “Look out Sarge, he’s got a shooter!”
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What I’d like to do now – well, what I’d like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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The so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing.
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! …no eight!
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
BILL BAILEY