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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.

George Burns

It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS

Aur Change Clean Dirty Hard Remember These Used
You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS

Fake Got Honest That Trouble
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS

And Bad Enough Good IT Pay Script
How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS

Book Die How
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS

Ask Avoid Important Longevity Most Say Single Tension
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
GEORGE BURNS

Came Down Everything Goes Time Up When
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS

Anywhere Eight Good Here Ninty
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS

All Bad Country Cut Hair Know People Run Taxicab Too
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS

Air Clean Dirty Remember Sex
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS

Because Future Go Life Look Rest Spend
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS

Boy Dead Only Sea Sick
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Anywhere Please Simple
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS

Bad Cigar Depend Good Handle Happiness Much Woman
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNS

Age No Out Women Worth
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNS

Drink Drunk Fourteenth Remember Take Thirteen Trouble
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNS

Begining Close End Good Have Possible Secret Together

This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.

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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.

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Popular Authors

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