Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNSHappiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
More George Burns Quotes
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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS






