I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNSHappiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
More George Burns Quotes
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS