There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
RON WHITEYou can tell on-stage when a joke’s starting to lose its pop. It doesn’t mean people don’t want to hear it anymore; it means I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they’ve never heard.
More Ron White Quotes
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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I think the world has their own good, clean, Christian comedy. They don’t need my help.
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I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
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People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
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Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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My goal is just to become a better comedian.
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I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
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I go through about 140 cities a year.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
RON WHITE