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A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.

Ron White

People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
RON WHITE

Alcoholic Drink People Say Work Workaholic
TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
RON WHITE

Day Hard Hate Hour Job People Television Tell Work
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
RON WHITE

Another Attention Brain Deficit Disability Disorder Information Learn Mean Odd Proces Quite Way
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
RON WHITE

Actual Beer Diet Drink Fat Guy Real Scotch Tequila Year
The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
RON WHITE

Country Good Majestic Theatre
I go through about 140 cities a year.
RON WHITE

City Go Through Yera
I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
RON WHITE

Ask Band Guy Monkey Rock Understand Venue
I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
RON WHITE

Advertise Before Club Comedy Go Rumour Sell Start Theater
Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it’s about. The content’s got to be great, but then it’s got to be delivered. It’s a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.
RON WHITE

Content Deliver Face Pace People Rhythm Time
If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
RON WHITE

Blue Collar Come Comedy Little Rougher See Tour Watch
I’m set up where I make a lot of money doing stand-up, and it’s easy.
RON WHITE

Lot Make Money Set Stand Up Ways
There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
RON WHITE

Class Forever Go Pill Stupid Take
I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
RON WHITE

Country Start Drop Education Reason Surplus Think
Comedy is great because there’s no overhead.
RON WHITE

Comedy Great No Overhead
I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.
RON WHITE

Believe Debt Judge Late Universe Unpaidm Buy
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
RON WHITE

Believe Lemon Life Party Somebody Try

A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.

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A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.

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Popular Authors

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