I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
RON WHITEI was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
More Ron White Quotes
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The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.
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Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
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I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
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Here’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming.
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I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
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I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
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I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
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The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
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TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
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Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
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A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
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My goal is just to become a better comedian.
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