Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
RON WHITEI was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
More Ron White Quotes
-
-
I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
RON WHITE -
A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
RON WHITE -
I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
RON WHITE -
It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
RON WHITE -
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He’s probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can’t say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.
RON WHITE -
You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
RON WHITE -
If I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I’m not having fun.
RON WHITE -
I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
RON WHITE -
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
RON WHITE -
I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
RON WHITE -
I go through about 140 cities a year.
RON WHITE -
I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
RON WHITE -
I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
RON WHITE -
The next time you have a thought… let it go.
RON WHITE -
Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
RON WHITE