I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
RON WHITEMy brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
More Ron White Quotes
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
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I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
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My goal is just to become a better comedian.
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The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.
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My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.
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I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
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All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
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I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
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I’m set up where I make a lot of money doing stand-up, and it’s easy.
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I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
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I go through about 140 cities a year.
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.
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I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
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I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith’s ‘What It Was, Was Football.’ I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn’t know what any of it meant.
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My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
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