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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.

Ron White

I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
RON WHITE

Always Anybody Funny Guy Make Stand Young
I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
RON WHITE

Daily Friendly Gay Judgement Life Lot Love Men Practise Stuff
My goal is just to become a better comedian.
RON WHITE

Become Better Comedian Goal Just
I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
RON WHITE

Family Include Know Onstage People Think Written
I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
RON WHITE

Beat People Plumber Rather Would
You can tell on-stage when a joke’s starting to lose its pop. It doesn’t mean people don’t want to hear it anymore; it means I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they’ve never heard.
RON WHITE

Anymore Call Hear Joke Lose Mean People Pop Stage Start Tell Want
There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
RON WHITE

Class Forever Go Pill Stupid Take
I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
RON WHITE

Except Imagine Kep Life Listen Long People Plan Specific Talk
Everybody I know is a joke writer.
RON WHITE

Everybody Joke Know Writer
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He’s probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can’t say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.
RON WHITE

Best Comedian Dies Ever Listen More Old Realy Understood
I write all of my material. It’s all me.
RON WHITE

All Material Me Write
I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
RON WHITE

Comedy Kid Little
My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
RON WHITE

All Be Can Show Way
I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
RON WHITE

Been Comedian Consider Fun Good Peer Sure
I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I’ve always done. That’s really where my best stuff comes from. I don’t know how it happens. It just happens.
RON WHITE

Always Best Done Happen Little One Pony Stuff Trick
If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
RON WHITE

Blue Collar Come Comedy Little Rougher See Tour Watch

My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.

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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.

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Popular Authors

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