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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.

Ron White

I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
RON WHITE

Chill Critical Keep Product Spaghetti
Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
RON WHITE

Diamond Minute Shut
I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
RON WHITE

Ability Remain Right Silent
I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.
RON WHITE

Famous Heard Made Material People Popular Stuff
I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
RON WHITE

Believe Collaborative Creative Everything Somewhat
My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
RON WHITE

Between Brain Colander Cross Leak Slow
If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
RON WHITE

Come Country Down Gulf Joke Out Pollute Rite
I go through about 140 cities a year.
RON WHITE

City Go Through Yera
My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
RON WHITE

Act Always Big Crowd Do Easy Open Strong To
I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
RON WHITE

Daily Friendly Gay Judgement Life Lot Love Men Practise Stuff
My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
RON WHITE

Biggest Cable Comedian Criticise Guy Other Peeve Pet
There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
RON WHITE

Class Forever Go Pill Stupid Take
I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
RON WHITE

Continuity Figure Joke Little Older Show Story Time
There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
RON WHITE

Always Been Century Comic More Other Play Quater Time
I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
RON WHITE

Back Brave Consider Honor However Inctredinly Many Men Privilege Sacrifice Women
I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
RON WHITE

Always Comedian Popular Want

My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.

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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.

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