“I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.”

Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.

Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.

I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He’s probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can’t say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.

Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.

I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.

You can tell on-stage when a joke’s starting to lose its pop. It doesn’t mean people don’t want to hear it anymore; it means I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they’ve never heard.

People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.

There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.

My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.

A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.

I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.

My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.

If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.

The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.

There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.

It was an accident, although I’ve been involved in some kind of theatrical function or other since I was a child – in school, music, athletics.

So long as one does not become simple like a child, one does not get divine illumination.

Great men have the nature of a child.

Forget all the worldly knowledge that thou hast acquired and become as a child, and then will thou get the divine wisdom.

You were born a child of light’s wonderful secret— you return to the beauty you have always been.

My mom didn’t ever think I would take to acting because I was a very shy, very reserved kind of child. But obviously, something changed!

The joy and happiness it gives you or the emotions you go through when you hold your child in your arms for the first time are indescribable!

I started making photographs as if I were a child myself. This got me to look at things more closely, more slowly, and from vantage points I hadn’t considered before.