The next time you have a thought… let it go.
RON WHITEI get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
More Ron White Quotes
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I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit.
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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
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I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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Here’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming.
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When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.
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Comedy is great because there’s no overhead.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
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My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
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There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
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I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.
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The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
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I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I’ve always done. That’s really where my best stuff comes from. I don’t know how it happens. It just happens.
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.
RON WHITE