Comedy is great because there’s no overhead.
RON WHITEOther states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
More Ron White Quotes
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
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The next time you have a thought… let it go.
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The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith’s ‘What It Was, Was Football.’ I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn’t know what any of it meant.
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I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
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I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He’s probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can’t say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.
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