My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
FRAN LEBOWITZAsk your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Polite conversation is rarely either.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
You’re only as good as your last haircut.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
FRAN LEBOWITZ






