“Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.”

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Andy Warhol made fame more famous.

Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.

If you’re going to America, bring your own food.

Polite conversation is rarely either.

Cut away all that is excessive, straighten all that is crooked, bring light to all that is overcast, labour to make all one glow of beauty and never cease chiselling your statue.

Samson is not alone in the history of man in failing in this regard. Delilah is still cutting the hair of man today!

The sculptor cuts away here, smoothes there, makes this line lighter, this other purer, until he or she has shown a beautiful face upon the statue.

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

My father gave me some Jack Nicklaus MacGregor clubs when I was six years old. He cut down some of the shafts, but they were men’s clubs, so they were heavy.

My knee is screwed. I had the meniscus cut out.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

What makes the pain we feel from shame and jealousy so cutting is that vanity can give us no assistance in bearing them.