Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
FRAN LEBOWITZPolite conversation is rarely either.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
My favorite animal is steak.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Polite conversation is rarely either.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Ifyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
FRAN LEBOWITZ