“I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.”

Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.

Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.

My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.

I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.

Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

My favorite animal is steak.

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.

Nothing succeeds like address.

Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.

It’s straight and narrow, you can see the growth and understand that I’m not afraid to give you honesty and be honest about anything that has to do with my story.

A man got up [after one of Huxley’s ‘sermons’] and said ‘they had never heard anything like that in Norwich before’.

It’s not written in the Constitution or anything else….

I never did anything, great or small, without obtaining in advance express instructions from Adolf Hitler or any of my superiors.

I’ve never bought a boxed set DVD or anything like that.

She thinks that before her arrival on the scene no woman ever did anything worthwhile before

Oh mortal man, is there anything you cannot be made to believe?

Oh mortal man, is there anything you cannot be made to believe?