Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
ADAM CAROLLAIf you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
ADAM CAROLLA