I get depressed at airports.
ADAM CAROLLAIf you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
ADAM CAROLLA






