We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
ADAM CAROLLAI give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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