It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
ADAM CAROLLA