Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
ADAM CAROLLASpeaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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I’d never hurt another person.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
ADAM CAROLLA






