The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
ADAM CAROLLAI’d never hurt another person.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
ADAM CAROLLA