“Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.”

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.

My first car was a motorcycle.

You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.

I am not a good cue card reader.

Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.

When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.

Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much

You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

Looking back, I now see so many similarities between my own childhood and that of my sons. My father stepped in when I needed him, and that gave me the chance for a better life. That’s what I’m doing for my boys now.

For me chemistry represented an indefinite cloud of future potentialities which enveloped my life to come in black volutes torn by fiery flashes, like those which had hidden Mount Sinai. Like Moses, from that cloud I expected my law.

I don’t get tired. I get beat up. You keep chopping on a tree, you need to give the tree some rest so the chlorophyll will fill back up and the tree gets its energy back.

When I went off to college in 1997, I didn’t go back and watch ‘Conan.’ I was out partying and dating women.

Jealousy is invariably a symptom. Just like right now with the whole mortgage crisis, I want to help people get back into their homes.

I was just a big fan of tattoos always growing up, and I wanted something cool that symbolizes what I’ve been through in my life, and everything on my chest and my back is like a collage.

My wrists are crooked and don’t go all the way back. I’ve been practicing and working on them. You can’t do everything good.

In a study we did of bereavement, we found that rather impressive numbers of widows and widowers had not simply gone back to their pre-loss functioning, but grown.