Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn’t know a game is going on?
BILL MAHERThe “Power of One” is a slogan – not a goal.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
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We don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.
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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
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When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
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Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.
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To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.
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Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
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Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
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Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
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If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
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God knows life sucks. It’s right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, “I can’t take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me.”
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Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
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Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.
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Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.
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The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’
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The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
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The thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?
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Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
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Men are only as loyal as their options.
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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
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In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
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I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
BILL MAHER