In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
BILL MAHERIn an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn’t know a game is going on?
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To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
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In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
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A new cologne is coming out. It’s for cowboys, and it’s made from cow’s manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
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America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
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Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.
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If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church.
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That’s what’s so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.
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Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
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Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
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If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
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Let’s make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake – you know, to send the right message to kids.
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Only a Bush could answer a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question two different ways and be wrong both times.
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I don’t respect religon. I don’t respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
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At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
BILL MAHER