Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
ANDY ROONEYThe great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
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I’ve learned. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you more.
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I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
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I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
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Death is a distant rumor to the young.
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I’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
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Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
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Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
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I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
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I’ve learned, That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
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I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
ANDY ROONEY