Denying racism is the new racism.
BILL MAHERYou want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
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We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It’s overrun with sheep and conformists.
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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
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Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
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Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in ‘Dancing with the Stars.’
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If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
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The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.
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You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.
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I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
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The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’
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A new cologne is coming out. It’s for cowboys, and it’s made from cow’s manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
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Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
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Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
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To those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
BILL MAHER






