Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
ANDY ROONEYDon’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
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I’ve learned That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
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Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
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The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
ANDY ROONEY -
Familiar things are a comfort to us all.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
ANDY ROONEY -
Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
ANDY ROONEY -
I can’t choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
ANDY ROONEY -
Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
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I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
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Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
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I’ve learned, That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
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Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
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I’ve learned That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
ANDY ROONEY -
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
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Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
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We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
ANDY ROONEY -
The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
ANDY ROONEY