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I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

Andy Rooney

Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
ANDY ROONEY

Conservatism Liberal Nice People Religious
I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
ANDY ROONEY

Deserve Learning Myself Smile
Those of us who don’t have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading “Confused.
ANDY ROONEY

Confusion Heading Party Register
I’ve learned, That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
ANDY ROONEY

Appreciation Learning Life Myself Small
I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Myself Time Work
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness Ideas Ourselves Prison Religious
When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
ANDY ROONEY

Basic Education Life Myself Need
I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Life Myself Tough
All of us talk faster than we listen.
ANDY ROONEY

Fast Listening Ourselves Talk
I’ve learned, That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
ANDY ROONEY

Growth Learning Myself Person Smart
I’ve learned, That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
ANDY ROONEY

Adult Block Children Father Simple Summer Walk Wonder
Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
ANDY ROONEY

Easy Reading Sentence Suspicious Writing
I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.
ANDY ROONEY

Class Money Myself Standard
Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
ANDY ROONEY

Age Experience Level
Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
ANDY ROONEY

Buy Food Realization Woman Worth
Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
ANDY ROONEY

Behavior Civilization Confirm Natural

I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

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I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

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