black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.

Tim Allen

My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
TIM ALLEN

Children Family Father Hero Myself
I am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
TIM ALLEN

Body Character Man Myself Trap
When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
TIM ALLEN

Meaning Opposite Smart Yourself
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
TIM ALLEN

Day Himself Interest Love Man
I don’t understand why it has to be either – or – either socialism or democracy. Why can’t we combine things to get the best of each system?
TIM ALLEN

Best Choice Combination Myself System Understand
Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.
TIM ALLEN

Appearance Brilliant Funny Head Shower Weird Woman Yourself
Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with ‘rear end’. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
TIM ALLEN

Area Avoid Comment Togetherness Woman
If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it.
TIM ALLEN

Break Fix Repair Yourself
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
TIM ALLEN

Comedy Decision Himself Judgement Sentence Serious Stand
I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
TIM ALLEN

Cat Dog Man Myself Person Travel
The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
TIM ALLEN

Best Busy Children Ego
Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.
TIM ALLEN

Dangerous Floor Ground Himself Stick
I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
TIM ALLEN

Drive Myself Quality Sound
Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
TIM ALLEN

Direction Flight Plane Reality
I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
TIM ALLEN

Charity Enjoyment Phenomenal Project Result
There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
TIM ALLEN

Beautiful Bride Feeling Greatness Herself

I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Tim Allen Quotes