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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.

Tim Allen

My dad’s death reminds me of earthquakes – things that shake your foundation.
TIM ALLEN

Death Father Foundation Nature Reminder
I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
TIM ALLEN

Greatness Learning Myself Student
Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
TIM ALLEN

Hands Listening Story
When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
TIM ALLEN

Meaning Opposite Smart Yourself
I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
TIM ALLEN

Artist Life Logo Love Myself
Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious.
TIM ALLEN

Alone Disgust Leaving Ourselves Paint Time
If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it.
TIM ALLEN

Break Fix Repair Yourself
I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.
TIM ALLEN

Audience Easy Hurt Myself Time
To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.
TIM ALLEN

Attention Himself Man Move Talk Television Yourself
Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.
TIM ALLEN

Appearance Brilliant Funny Head Shower Weird Woman Yourself
Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
TIM ALLEN

Better Built God Man Prayer Sound Tree Worship
I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
TIM ALLEN

Children Drive License Protection Requirement
I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
TIM ALLEN

Drive Myself Quality Sound
Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
TIM ALLEN

Easy Family Issues Movie Time
Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.
TIM ALLEN

Instruction Man Manufacturer Reality Togetherness
My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
TIM ALLEN

Children Family Father Hero Myself

A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.

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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Tim Allen Quotes