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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.

Tim Allen

I am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
TIM ALLEN

Body Character Man Myself Trap
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
TIM ALLEN

Alive Lawn Maintainence Man Reason
I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
TIM ALLEN

Artist Creativity Design Graphics
There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
TIM ALLEN

Beautiful Bride Feeling Greatness Herself
Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
TIM ALLEN

Better Built God Man Prayer Sound Tree Worship
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
TIM ALLEN

Move Muscle See Sight Time Vehicle Yourself
You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
TIM ALLEN

People Stress Tension Yourself
Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
TIM ALLEN

Funny Golf Lost Missing Play Sports Yourself
But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
TIM ALLEN

Human Man Separate Vehicle
Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
TIM ALLEN

Animal Borrow Man Tools
When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
TIM ALLEN

Condition Father Life Moment Present Realization Yourself
Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
TIM ALLEN

Direction Flight Plane Reality
Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
TIM ALLEN

Animal Man Own
Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.
TIM ALLEN

Appearance Brilliant Funny Head Shower Weird Woman Yourself
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
TIM ALLEN

Comedy Decision Himself Judgement Sentence Serious Stand
As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
TIM ALLEN

Depend History Point View

Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.

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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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