There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
BILL MAHERDon’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
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Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
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We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
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Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
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The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.
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Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
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America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
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Here’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.
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What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
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Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
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False hope really makes you cynical.
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Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
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I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
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Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
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Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
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Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn’t know a game is going on?
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The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’
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In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
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The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
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Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.
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Death is nature’s way of killing you.
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Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.
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The thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?
BILL MAHER