“God knows life sucks. It’s right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, “I can’t take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me.””

If conservatives get to call universal healthcare ‘socialized medicine,’ I get to call private, for-profit healthcare ‘soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.’

If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?

We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.

The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you’ll wind up with a lover.

I don’t say that I’m an atheist. I don’t like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don’t know. And if you don’t know – and you don’t – just man up and say you don’t know. Don’t turn to silly stories and ancient myths.

America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.

Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

If it weren’t for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.

I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.

Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.

Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.

If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.

Only a Bush could answer a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question two different ways and be wrong both times.

Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?

The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.

Remember for just one minute of the day, it would be best to try looking upon yourself more as God does, for She knows your true royal nature.

Give me Thy light, and fix my eyes on Thee!

The more a person loves, the closer he approaches the image of God.

Equality, absolutely, that’s what defines us. It’s what makes us great. If it doesn’t sit well with your religion, let your God sort it out in the end, but that’s us. We’re equal.

The best loved by God are those that are rich, yet have the humility of the poor, and those that are poor and have the magnanimity of the rich.

I have so much to do today, I’ll need to spend another hour on my knees.

If you do good in secret, Allah will shower His good on you in public.

Nothing is more beautiful in the eyes of God than a soul that loves to hear His Word.