Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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