Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCECoward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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