April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
AMBROSE BIERCEHe who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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