Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
AMBROSE BIERCESelfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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